An Essay on Loss and Grief

An Essay on Loss and Grief get one event on acquittance and construct an academic analyse supported by relevant academic sourcesINTRODUCTIONThis essay explores my survive of way out and sadness later the end of my begin in 1997 and how my sorrow appendage relates to theories put forward to explain and deal with chastening. anteroom (2014) suggests that outrage and heartbreak are funda moral to human life..Harvey (1998) perceives red as a life birth relating to almostthing irreversible and emotions towards what is lost. Hall (2014) defines sorrowfulness as the repartee to the loss in its totality including its physical, emotional, cognitive, behavioural and sacred manifestations and as a natural and normal reaction to loss. It has been argued that in aver to look distress it is important to understand the role of attachment. Mallon (2008) observed that in order to set out loss there must be attachment. As a resultant many theories of attachment play a major(i p) role in bereavement counseling. Bowlby (1980) emphasised the role of attachment in relationships. He suggests that a childs emotional growth will be compromised if the child does not gravel attachment to a signifi quite a littlet another(prenominal) person. The consequences rump be that the somebody may necessitate concentratedies connecting with others.This essay will maiden explore some of the salient theories on grief and bereavement. Secondly, a discussion of my fucks grieve my fathers stopping point fuck offing on some key elements of bereavement theories will follow. Finally, a summary of the discussion will conclude the essay.THEORIES OF BEREAVEMENT AND LOSSFreud (1953 1974) was the first major contri providedor to the surmisal of grief. His theory stressed that sorrow individuals seem for an attachment that has been lost. His work involved the exploit of breaking the links that fond regarded the subsister to the departed. He identified three elements nam elyFreeing the bereaved from the thralldom to the dec protrudingRead exactlyment to life without the deceasedBuilding new relationships.Parkes (1971, 1996) argued that Freuds conception of grief was useful in considering grief to be part of a rebuilding form which he calls psychosocial transition. Freud (1953-1974) argued that the grieving experience for the bereaved requires that they love their separation from the deceased by going through a do by that includes fussful emotions of guilt and anger. Furthermore, these emotions must be expressed. Key to Freuds approach was the opinion that if the bereaved failed to work with or k straight their grief work, then the grieving process would become complicated and compromise recovery. This model stresses the importance of contemptible on as quickly as possible in order to return to normal functioning.Influenced by Freud (1953-1974), several(prenominal) grief theorists including Kbler Ross (1969), Bowlby (1980) and Parkes Weiss ( 1983) conceptualised grief as a process of predict suitable phases and tasks. One of the most recognize was Kbler Ross (1969), who proposed the five- power point model that constituted the following introducesShock and denial offenseResentment and guiltBargainingDepression and Acceptance.The model insists that failure to complete the delivers would result in acute affable health complications. Hall (2014) argues that the stage theories were popular because they suggest a sense of conceptual order turn offering hope of recovery and closure. Despite their popularity, most stage theories attracted reproof in the same way that Freuds proposition attracted criticism for their lack of experimental evidence and their rigidity. Furthermore, the stage theories have been challenged for their inability to capture the complex, diverse and multi-faceted personality of the grieving experience. Baxter and Diehl (1998) argue that since grief is considered to be fluid, it is unlikely that in dividuals are able to go through the stages in a methodical manner as advocated by the stage theorists. In short, they do not take history of factors such as the physical, psychological, social, cultural and spiritual needs that impact on the bereaved people, their families and intimate networks (Hall 2014).Despite these criticisms, early stage theories have provided large groundwork and influence on current theories such as the Dual-Processing theory developed by Stroebe and Schut (1999) and Worden (2008). Hall (2014) argues that these theories take account of many of the risks and entertainive factors identified by research and provide an important context for appreciating the idiosyncratic spirit of attachment to the deceased that is lacking in the earlier stage theories. Both models provide frameworks that guide intervention. Richardson and Balaswamy (2001), when evaluating the Dual Processing Model, suggested that avoiding grief can have both positive and negative outcomes . They proposed that this is where bereavement is comprehend as including Loss of Orientation and Restoration Orientation. The griever in the loss-orientation is preoccupied with emotions, hot and ruminating about the deceased, whereas, restoration orientation involves taking over the responsibilities and the roles undertaken by the deceased and making lifestyle changes, setting up a new individuation without the deceased (Richardson, 2007 Bennett, 2010a).Worden (2008) suggests that grieving should be considered as an active process that involves utilisation with four tasksAccepting the reality of the lossProcessing the pain of griefAdjusting to a world without the deceased (including both internal, external and spiritual adjustments) conclusion an enduring connection with the deceased whilst embarking on a new life.To understand what the client is experiencing, Worden identified seven determinants that need to be consideredWho the person who died wasThe nature of the attachment to the deceasedHow the person diedHistorical antecedents temper variables cordial mediators simultaneous stressorsEXPERIENCES OF GRIEFIn discussing my grieving process, I am going to draw on Wordens (2008) four tasks indicated above. The seven determinants indicated above will be utilize to guide the discussion and interpret the experience utilising relevant theoretical perspectives.i. To comport the reality of the lossI was in the UK undertaking my nursing cross when my father died in Zimbabwe from a sudden heart related problem. I was informed early in the morning soon after my sidekick received news of his death. Since I was living alone, I had to make several phone calls home to confirm his death and to ascertain how he died and open up why more was not done. I remember crying but the tears did not correspond to my emotions. For a long time I felt detached from my feelings. My emotions appeared to be bottled up and were difficult to release. My immediate result to the new s reflects Bowlby and Parkes (1970)s proposed first stage of grief where the individual experiences numbness, shock, and denial. I had ever dreaded the day my father would die. I remember pacing up and down my crinkleroom, feeling very alone and helpless. During one of the calls from my brother, he mentioned that he needed me there. That was the time that I realised that this was real. It was at this moment that I started to call friends and informing them of the news. I cannot remember most of what happened but I remember one of my friends took over and made the necessary travel arrangements and utter to my family in Zimbabwe. I believe that I only accepted the loss much later when I found that I could not address with him that I had bought a beautiful house. I desperately needed his comments and praises. My garner with the surprise information and pictures was in the post box when he passed away.ii. To process the pain of griefI believe I go through the pain of losing my fat her when I returned to the UK after going through three weeks of the funeral and other rituals related to death in my culture. The cultural rituals are a involved bag of tears, laughter, praying, singing and sharing memories and kinship with the deceased. This, to a large extent, eased me into the grieving process. However, the real pain of his loss took place when I returned to the UK where I could grieve in private. I found myself avoiding friends and other associates. It was as if my indistinguishability had been taken away and that made me tearful. This echoes the suggestion by Caserta and Lund (1992) that the bereaved may have to redefine their identity. Prompting questions like Who am I now that I am no long-term a daughter? Hall (2011) and Caserta and Lund (1992) suggest that this can set in motion a process of re-learning ourselves and the world. On reflection, friends and associates reminded me of the me that I had lost. The pain would come and go. I often cried on my own . The crying and anxiety concurs with Bowlbys proposition that loss of the affectional attachment results in emotional disturbances such as anxiety, crying and anger (Freeman, 2005). I experienced this for over a year and felt lost. Although functioning, I was no longer myself. I started having frequent dreams of my father and would look forward to going to bed where I could be with my father.iii. To adjust to a world without the deceasedIt is difficult to identify exactly when it was that I adjusted to a life without my father. It took a long time. Although we lived far from each other, my father played a major role in most of my decisions and reassurances. Two events contributed to my adjustment. Firstly, my mother encouraged me to indicate for a Masters course that I was talking myself out of. Suddenly, I saw my fathers qualities in her. The security and trust I had in my father had transferred to my mother. Secondly, crying uncontrollably at a church in the UK the day I receive d news that my brother had died in a automobile accident. On reflection I realised that although I was crying for the loss of my brother, I was also finally crying for my father. Taking over fearfulness for my brothers children added to the adjustment of living without my father.iv. Finding an enduring connection with the deceased whilst embarking on a new lifeBeing ancestral believers, the bond amid my late father and me remains but it manifests in a antithetical form to the bond we had when he was alive. I believe that spiritually, my father and my forefathers protect me and help me achieve my ambitions by chasing away bad spirits and creating slew and opportunities for me. My family and I participate in cultural rituals in remembrance of him and our forefathers. Psychologically, my bond with my father remains as he continues to be my role model. As a result, I dedicate most of my achievements to him. This continued connection and perceived role played by my father 18 years a fter his death confirm Datson and Marwits (1997) argument that continued bonds with deceased can have positive outcomes. Therefore, letting go is not necessarily the requirement for palmy grieving. According to Hall (2014) this idea represents recognition that death ends a life, not necessarily a relationship.CONCLUSIONThe discussion above illustrates that the theoretical perspectives of loss and bereavement have developed from emotional attachment to more holistic approaches. These theories not only carry on the influences of the early work focussed on emotions and attachment but take account of the social, economic, cultural and spiritual needs experienced by bereaved people. Significantly, these theories do not center force field letting go as a requirement of successful grieving. On the contrary, a continued bond with the deceased can be positive. My experience largely sustain the complexity of the grieving process. Some of the experiences indicated above confirmed some of t he early theorists observations such as the emotional rollercoaster and the early stage theorists suggestions of shock in the early stages. I did not however experience the full stages of grieving in chronological order, and the experience was by no means quick. Factors such as my culture and spiritual beliefs contributed significantly to my grieving process and influenced the outcome of my continued bond with father. In view of this it can be argued that there is a place for the different approaches to loss and bereavement in supporting bereaved people. However, the multi-cultural society encouraged by globalisation requires that we take account of the wider aspects of the bereavement process.REFERENCESBaxter, E. A. and Diehl, S. (1998). Emotional stages Consumers and family members recovering from the trauma of mental illness. 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